Musings on Marriage (again!)
Back home from Mozart's Don Giovanni, and hair is still wet. So I thought I would amuse myself by asking the marriage question and coming up with some hypothetical answers.
Question: Will you marry me?
Answers:
1. We have been friends for too long.
2. Umm...I just met you...
3. Would any sane woman marry a poet?
4. I'm sorry, I'm not looking for a poet who writes in couplets. How unromantic.
5. I won't be mothering you like your mother, will I?
6. Why would I marry a guy who spends his free time talking about vaginas to highschool students?
7. I'm sorry, your father is too conservative.
8. Is this a joke?
9. You'll have to be my concubine if that's okay.
10. Where is the ring?
11. You probably don't want to marry me. I'm imaginary.
12. Where is the guitar and the serenade?
13. I never talk to you except on MSN. I don't know if I can coup with you in real life.
14. Sorry. You're just too young. I am 20 years older than you are.
15. Sorry. You're just too old. You're 20 years older than I am.
16. Only if you are not going to have kids.
17. Only if you are going to have eight kids.
18. Come back in 10 years, when you are a millionaire.
19. Come back in 10 years, when I am a millionaire.
20. You're just trying to get inside my pants aren't you?
21. Hey, I'm just trying to get inside your pants!
etc.
Question: Will you marry me?
Answers:
1. We have been friends for too long.
2. Umm...I just met you...
3. Would any sane woman marry a poet?
4. I'm sorry, I'm not looking for a poet who writes in couplets. How unromantic.
5. I won't be mothering you like your mother, will I?
6. Why would I marry a guy who spends his free time talking about vaginas to highschool students?
7. I'm sorry, your father is too conservative.
8. Is this a joke?
9. You'll have to be my concubine if that's okay.
10. Where is the ring?
11. You probably don't want to marry me. I'm imaginary.
12. Where is the guitar and the serenade?
13. I never talk to you except on MSN. I don't know if I can coup with you in real life.
14. Sorry. You're just too young. I am 20 years older than you are.
15. Sorry. You're just too old. You're 20 years older than I am.
16. Only if you are not going to have kids.
17. Only if you are going to have eight kids.
18. Come back in 10 years, when you are a millionaire.
19. Come back in 10 years, when I am a millionaire.
20. You're just trying to get inside my pants aren't you?
21. Hey, I'm just trying to get inside your pants!
etc.
posted by Tristan at 12:32 a.m.
4 Comments:
somehow the self-conscious factor makes this a little less 'amusing' than it should. you know I expect more from you, Johnson?
brent.
yea! totally agree w/ ^-brent.
can't believe you wrote this johnson...is this REALLY johnson's posting? 0.o How was Marriage of Figaro btw? I REALLY wanted to go >.<
I read your epic in the Uprooted. I do have a few comments - more like questions.
-brent
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